Dinosaurs for Kids

Dinosaurs for kids is a fairly popular search term. Some of you will know that I am assisting Paul Perro with his lovely http://www.history-for-kids.com/website and I am quoting here a portion of his longer poem on the subject of 'Dinosaurs for Kids'

There was a type of creature called a dinosaur.
Which you do not see any more.
They lived in a prehistoric time,
I’ll tell you about them in this rhyme.

Dinosaurs had tiny brains
But they had ginormous names.
Like triceratops, brontosaurus,
Velociraptor and OhDon'tBoreUs

The tyrannosaurus rex
Was scary, one suspects.
It had lots of big sharp teeth,
And a *ROAR* that just defied belief.

How I wish that I could get
A dinosaur to be my pet.
I would take him into school one day
And everyone would run away.

This will never happen, I realize
For long ago they met their demise.
Fossils are all that are left, it seems,
You can sometimes see them in museums.

This post is a test to see how well or how badly it fares in the Google search engine results page. Paul Perro's webpage is well search engine optimised and yet does not feature on the first ten pages, I suspect because it is a new website and its in Google's so called sandbox. A blog page usually does much better. I'll report back

Click the link for more
Dinosaurs for Kids and other history poems

Goodbye Sad Poems, But Funny

Goodbye Sad Poems is a popular search, particularly for co-workers who are departing for pastures new, or retiring. I have written many such poems where the goodbye maybe sad but the poem is funny. These were written about very specific people but here I've taken all the generic material and welded it together to produce a poem to apply to anyone...with a sense of humour. If to a teetotaller, take out the verses about drink. It is intended to be read out loud by two people, the black type is good cop and the purple is bad cop

Today)(tonight), we have a change of style

It's a different kind of do

I've cut my eloquent, articulate, smooth and polished speech

That'll save an hour or two

We have for you a little ditty
A farewell and good luck quip
To say goodbye to our dear friend
As he departs this sinking ship

Yes a Co-worker is leaving
It's now sincerity time
To pay him a special tribute
By insulting him in rhyme

Co-workers leaving is always sad
A time for sorrow and grieving
But today we can be happy
Coz it's Charlie Smith that's leaving

I've heard about your ditties
I'm not sure I'm very keen
I just take poetic license
You take liberties, you mean

If you're going to insult my friend
I don't want any part
Oh (Mary)(Bill), don't make a fuss
I'll behave, cross my heart

OK, but no derogatory remarks

Did I not promise just now
No innuendoes or calling him names
Get on, yer silly cow

Alright, it's goodbye to a hard worker

It is a terrible pity

To lose such a staunch member of...

The Skivers and Shirkers Committee

We're saying goodbye to a learned colleague
Who knows that one over the eight is nine
We're bidding adieu to a man of spirit
Who's very fond of wine

We all like to socialise
With a drop of wine or beer
But to us, it's just a pastime
To Charlie, it's his career

Work is a mere distraction
As a respite, it's fine
Between yesterday's binge on beer
And today's excess of wine

Charlie's a very hard worker
Do you really think that's true?
If you tell Mr (Brown) Charlie's leaving
He'll say "Sorry, Charlie Who?

No I'm not having it
We can't treat a friend this way
OK, Clever Clogs
You think of something nice to say

You can always rely on Charlie
When you're in a desperate need
When things are bad but could get worse
They will, that's guaranteed

I remember when poor Charlie (lost that big order)(fell down the stairs) (whatever)
I felt sorry for him, more than a bit
It's something Charlie would like to forget
Yes, that's why I mentioned it

You couldn't have been more insulting

What have you got to say?

I'm very sorry...I'm very sorry

You made me throw all the best bits away

Charlie, take no notice of him
At least I'm on your side
This one here, couldn't have been more insulting
But believe me, Charlie, I tried

I'd like now to propose a toast

To bring this to an end

To Charlie, no longer a co-worker

But still a very dear friend

Jon Bratton 2009
but based on his earlier material

If you want more Goodbye Sad Poems...but funny, click the link

Goodbye Sad poems, but funny

This 'Goodbye Sad Poems, but funny' blog entry is copyright Jon Bratton 2009. The poem may be used for non commercial purposes

St Georges Day

Today is not only St Georges Day but...

Today is St George's and the Bard's Birth and Death day
Have the happiest of days
Just pondering...if he was born and died on the same day
How come he wrote so many flippin’ plays

Jon Bratton © 2007

This next one was written for a specific person…the name has been changed


GOLFER / BIRTHDAY ON ST GEORGE'S DAY / EXOTIC HOLIDAYS

James Drummond Justice Brown
You've reached the big Five 0
And still in shape, despite suppin ale
At 80 shillings a go ....

You occasionally spoil a good walk
Knocking a ball o'er dales and hills
And as a Tory with Healey eyebrows
You really need your acting skills

For Holidays you avoid the madding crowd
From Costa del Sol you'd run a mile
Preferring instead the Orient Express
Or an exotic Western Isle

You're a Noel Coward kind of chap
That's clear from the life you forge
And as a Taurus you share the destiny
Of the Bard and bold St George

Except you're not so much a writer
More a talker, it must be said
and you've never slain a dragon
.... you married her instead!

This was written for a competition. It didn’t win because after I had written it, I realised that the competition had been held the year previous

T'was just after Easter, I was wearing me bonnet
I sat down to write this Shakespearean sonnet
As an Imperial I ne'er shout of centimetres
Iambically speaking, know nowt of pentameters
This sonnet's to celebrate St George's Day
A rare opportunity for me to say
It's ironic, nay verily, more idiotic
That a Palestinian Turk makes me feel patriotic
At the next World Cup, may England prevail
At the Plymouth Arms, may this win me free ale
Jon Bratton © 2007

This is one of a series of silly ditties I wrote for the webpage you can reach by following the link below

Poem For Susan George

It's 23rd April
This card is sent to say
To the hard of hearing and dyslexics
Today's your special day

Jon Bratton © 2007

Click the Link
For more
St Georges Day Poems

Was Shakespeare Gay or Bisexual

Was Shakespeare Gay or Bisexual?

Look at the earlier portrait of Will and look at this newly discovered one.

Spot the difference?
For all purposes and intents
In the one he's a serious poet and dramatist
In the other, as camp as a row of tents

"In the early sonnets, Shakespeare writes about his great love, who happens to be a young man. While many people assume this to mean that he had a male lover and thus was either gay or bisexual there are others who still believe that his male friend was not his lover but someone who was simply very close to him emotionally "...to read more, click the link

Was Shakespeare Gay or Bisexual

Why is Shakespeare Known as The Bard

Why is Shakespeare known as The Bard is explained below in me poem but first know this.

23rd April is the birth date and death date of English poet and playwright William Shakespeare.
So, the most famous (possibly) Englishman was born and died on St Georges Day, the Patron Saint of England

"Be not afraid of greatness: some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them” from Twelfth Night by Shakespeare

William Shakespeare was born and died
On the very same day
Well, he didn’t last very long
I hear some of you say

If he really was born and died
On the very same day
He couldn’t have managed a sonnet
Never mind a 3 act play

Fortunately for us (but not for schoolchildren)
There was 52 years in between
The first 23rd April was in 1564
And the second in 1616

Most of his work was produced
In a 23 year frame of time
Nearly 40 plays and 150 odd sonnets
And poems that don’t even rhyme

Why is Shakespeare known as the Bard?
That's not a title he earns
For that title belongs to The Bard
Scotland's Robert Burns

Shakespeare is The Bard of Avon
That's the river in his town of birth
Bard just means poet
It's Welsh, for what it's worth

Jon Bratton 2009

For more, click the link
Why is Shakespeare known as the Bard or is it Rabbie Burns

This'Why is Shakespeare known as the Bard' blog entry is copyright of Jon Bratton 2009

Queen Elizabeth II Birthday Poem

Queen Elizabeth II Birthday Poem

21st April 2009

Ma'am, or to use your Official Title,'Elizabeth the Second, by the Grace of God of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland' it behoves me as the Doggeret Laureate to write a little number for your 83rd Birthday. It goes like this

On this day 83 years ago, Lilibet was born

And it just couldn’t be foreseen
That one day the baby Princess
Would become our Queen

Her uncle would become the King
And have children of his own
And the eldest of those children
Would ascend to the throne

But Uncle Bertie abdicated
And her Dad as King was bound
When he died, Her Royal Highness The Princess Elizabeth
As our Queen was crowned

This is a birthday tribute, Your Majesty
It gives me much pleasure
To say happy 83rd birthday Ma’am,
Our Queen and National Treasure

Jon Bratton 2009

If you want more, click the link
Queen Elizabeth II Birthday Poem



This Queen Elizabeth's Birthday Poem is copyright Jon Bratton 2009

Sorry Poems

Image from http://gleesongleanings.wordpress.com/2008/06/

I'm working on a new website http://www.poem-poetry.com/ and I needed to add a Sorry Poems page. Most people search for Sorry verses or poems when Apology verses or poems would be more appropriate

Here's some of the poems I came up with.

Lets make up and forget.
What I did, I regret

***

It was so stupid what I said
I didn’t mind my Qs and Ps
I’ve won the Foot in Mouth award
Forgive me please

***

If I was a blood splattered runaway lorry
I couldn't feel more sorry
If I was a serial love cheat like Ken or Deirdre from Corry
I couldn't feel more sorry
If I was a mud and slime filled, alligator infested quarry
I couldn't feel more sorry
That's how sorry I am

These light hearted poems are sorry (apology) poems for friends, girlfriend, boyfriend, best friend, husband,wife, boss, teacher etc to say I'm sorry I hurt you, I am sorry to risk our friendship, I am sorry I did or didn't do something. They are poems to apologise, they are not to say sorry for your loss or sorry you are leaving

This Sorry Poems blog entry is copyright Jon Bratton 2009. The poems may be used for private non commercial purposes but not for publishing on a website