Michael Jackson is Dead

The World's Greatest Entertainer, Michael Jackson
Is dead
It is said
It is sad
He has died
It can't be denied
But is it suicide?
You decide

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Michael Jackson is Dead Suicide?,

This Michael Jackson is dead blogpage comes to you from Jon Bratton

Fathers Day Poems from Children

Here is a short poem from my Fathers Day Poems from Children collection, it being only 3 days to Father's Day

The big corn looked down
And patted the (baby)(little)(young) corn's head
I'm ever so proud
To be a popcorn, he said

I'm so proud you are my Popcorn

Happy Popcorn's Day,

Daddy

from

your baby corn

Jon Bratton 2009

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Fathers Day Poems from Children

This Fathers Day Poems from Children blog page is copyright Jon Bratton 2009 but the material may be used for private non commercial use

Baked Potato Recipe Foil

Those who know me just know that this is a search engine foible whereby lots of folk search using the phrase, 'baked potato recipe foil' but no one fully satisfies them. So all you folk who want to know the extent to which foil features in the baked potato process here's the definitive answer...it doesn't and it shouldn't and here's why

"Baked Potato recipe foil"
That should read fail
For your potato in foil will boil and spoil
You'll be put in Potato Jail

The foil traps the moisture, you see
It's a mistake
Your potato will be steamed
It's a far better taste, when you bake

So, put the potato in the oven, pricked and naked
That's the potato, not you
To be honest it doesn't matter
So you can be naked too

After 50 minutes, remove
Your naked potato is now bak-ed
Use foil now, if you like, during its 10 minute rest
Then serve it, naked
(Smothered in butter)

Look, if you want to pick up on every innuendo go ahead, cook the potato naked, it's not a problem because there are no hot splashes and if you want to serve it naked covered in butter, no problem because frankly what do you do in you kitchen is a matter between you and the receiver of your smothered offerings
Me? I'm hot and bothered and going for a lie down

Jon Bratton 2009

For more on the subject click the link
Baked Potato Recipe Foil
but if you do, woe betide you

This 'baked potato recipe foil' is brought to you, for free use, and to satisfy a significant but un fulfilled desire

Newcastle United Premiership or Championship?

It's do or die today for the Toon Army. Newcastle United Premiership or Championship next season?

Hip Hip Hooray
Al's saved the day
He desorves every penny
Of his million quid pay
Now he's var nigh boond to stay
The dug oot's better than Match of the Day


Doom and Gloom
The toon is doon
Ah think ah'll sup some Newcie Broon
Then gan te bed till the next blue moon

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Newcastle United Premiership or Championship?

This Newcastle United Premiership or Championship? blog entry is copyright Jon Bratton 2009

Mother and Son Poem

This mother and son poem is a follow up to yesterday's poems about a student son using Father's Day to try to scrounge some money from his Dad. Today he tackles his mother

“Mom, I sent a Fathers Day card to Dad
But he didn’t help at all
I’m a little.., I’m ski.. I’m broke…, Mom
So I thought I’d give you a call”

“OK, sweetie,” says Mom
“The money is on its way
And I’ll send your economics book
Which you left, on your last stay”

“Uhh oh yeah Mom” says son
“Thanks, you really are a friend”
Dad comes home and asks his wife
“OK how much did you send”

"Two checks, one for 20, and the other for 1,000."
"That's 1020 dollars!!!" yelled Dad
"Don't worry hon," Mom said,
“Its really not that bad

I taped the $20 check to the book cover
But put the $1,000 one in between
The pages on Prudent Money Management
That’s in Chapter 15!"

Jon Bratton 2009

This mother and son poem is copyright Jon Bratton. It may be used for non commercial purposes

Father's Day Verses Funny

This Father's Day Verses Funny blog entry is brought to you in the lead up to Fathers Day next month.
Based on a joke I read somewhere I have written this Fathers Day card poem from a student to his Dad containing sledge hammer subtlety

Dad, $chool i$ really great.
I’m $tudying very hard.
I want for little, well, sort of..
Except, perhaps, a ¢ard
I would love to receive something from you.
About home and Mom and $uch
I am making lot$ of friend$
But I mi$$ you very much
The only reason I made thi$ ¢ard
Is becau$e I want to $ay
You mean $o very much to me
Have a $uper Father’$ Day

Your Loving, Hard up $logger $on.

Image from http://www.dubuque.k12.ia.us/parents/CartoonNO.jpg

The wise father replied

Dear Son,
Your sincere speech did NOt go unNOticed
But it came as NO surprise
And the subtletness of your message
Did NOt escape my teary eyes

I do kNOw that the study of ecoNOmics,
Is to you, interesting stuff
The pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task,
And you can never kNOw eNOugh.

I wrote to my Dad
When I was away at college
My Dad let me kNOw the meaning of NO
And I pass on to you that kNOwledge

Jon Bratton 2009

Fathers Day Poems Funny

Image from http://www.lindenservices.co.uk/userimages/stihl.jpg

Fathers Day is just a month away
So here's a little ditty

On this Father’s Day, Dad
I hope you are well
Pin back your lug holes
I’ve a story to tell

A lumberjack raised the money
For his son‘s education, he planned
By cutting down trees
Laboriously, by hand

The son bought his father a chain saw
“This will make life easier, Pater”
Then he went off to college
Returning 3 months later

The father had indeed used the saw
But he was now on his knees
He had worked much harder
And had cut down less trees

The son was disappointed
At what he had heard and seen
So he checked the oil and gas
On the chain saw machine

He pulled on the cord
The chain saw roared into action
The son was surprised
At his father’s reaction

His father got a shock
He grabbed his son’s jacket
BLOODY HELL SON, he said
WHAT ON EARTH IS THAT RACKET?

For your Father’s Day present
I thought long and hard
But you’ll understand now
Why I just got you this card

Happy Father’s Day

Jon Bratton 2009

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Fathers Day Poems Funny

This 'Fathers Day Poems Funny' blog entry is copyright Jon Bratton but poem may be used for non commercial purposes