Leaving Poem

Anyway, he decided to join a choir
He'd heard singers could be fun
And besides, if he could get a Singer
He'd get more sewing done.
(..of wild oats)

This is one of a number of saying goodbye/leaving job poems I wrote and read out at leaving parties for British and American expats, leaving after a number of years working in a Middle Eastern country. In this particular one, for a horticulturist and his wife I had a second person reading the insulting lines...shown in bold

Horticulturist grows and grows

This is just a little ditty
A ma-salama poem
To say goodye to our dear friends
As they make their way back home

Yes folks here we go again
It's goodbye ditty time
We usually do this kind of thing
With insults all in rhyme

But these two people are too nice
For anything like that
So I'm striking out this next line
Dick Salisbury's getting fat?

Well, come on, let's face it
He's not exactly underweight

He's just maximising growth potential
It's his job to propagate

Well, I must say he's good at it
The evidence clearly shows
He must be eating bone meal
He just grows,,,and grows...and grows

He's like one of his tomatoes
Fed on growing stuff
Dick, it's time to ease off a bit
You've grown quite big enough

Now look we've discussed this
You're just being rude
I'm just trying to make the point
That Dick is fond of food

So what if Dick's a little..
podgey? fuller figured
Who wants him slim and slick?

Exactly, let's ask the ladies
Who likes a big fat Dick?

There's 68 more verses to come so I'll leave it there for today but stay tuned for the more to come...who was Wanda?