Funny Poems Christmas

Its that time of year again for Funny Poems Christmas. No, I haven't got dyslexia. That's how funny Christmas poems are most commonly searched for

Catherine Masters complained that the Queen sent her the same birthday card each year and this prompted Fred MacAuley who has a newsy chat show on BBC Radio Scotland to discuss how to make an impact when sending Christmas cards.
Olive of Olive Designs, a card maker was on the show to talk about card making and I was invited on as a card verse writer
Should you be so inclined you can listen to the show on here
Radio Show
but below are the two verses I wrote to illustrate how verses can be personalised. The first is a verse that the Queen might pen

As your Queen and Sovereign
It behoves one to say
Arise! On Christmas morning
And have a wonderful day

My husband and I
(And all the Queen's horses and all the Queen's men)
Want your annus to be wonderfulis
In two thousand and ten

(Annus mirabilis is the correct Latin phrase meaning "wonderful year" but that's just not funny. Phillip Larkin wrote...
life was never better than
In nineteen sixty-three
(Though just too late for me) -
Between the end of the Chatterley ban
And the Beatles' first LP.)


At the end of the piece Fred asked for another sample personalised verse which I'm glad to say I had prepared beforehand. This is for a card I shall send to the programme

To the very best Beeb radio show
Merry Christmas MacAuley and Co
May 2010, the year anew
Bring continued success to Fred and crew

More Funny Poems Christmas

This funny poems Christmas blog page is copyright Jon Bratton but of course individuals, including Her Majesty, may use the material for non commercial purposes