Monday, 22 October 2012

Funny Rhyming Poem

Old Dot said to her best pal Edna
“George has asked me out, you know
You went on a date with him last week,
So should I agree to go?”

Well, said Ed “He arrived promptly

He looked liked a gentleman, so tall
He brought flowers, and outside was a limo
Uniformed chauffeur and all.

We had dinner at a fancy restaurant
You should have seen the champers flow
He complimented me on my new evening dress
Then he took me off to a show.

On the way back, he ripped off my new dress
Three times, he made the limousine rock”
“So, I’ll not go?" said Dot, “Yes, go” said her friend
"Just be sure to wear an old frock"

Jon Bratton  © 2012

Monday, 15 October 2012

Valentine Poems They're Not

If you google ...washington post rhyme competition ... you'll get loads of websites telling you about a competition that the Washington Post ran a few years back and you'll see the 11 entries that get quoted on websites and in those emails that keep circulating round. Basically the competition was to come up with a very romantic first line and a very unromantic second line
I don't want to quote any of the entries here because Google will think this is just another 'me too' so here to illustrate is one that I just made up

I look into your eyes and see a love that’s true

Her name is Veronica. She’s why I’m leaving you

You get the idea. Try it yourself, it's fun. Anyway I got to thinking, could I do the same, but using first lines from William Shakespeare...who is more romantic than the Bard himself?

Here's what I came up with...forgive the slightly colourful language, which I use only in a way that Big Willy himself might have done

Shall I compare thee to a Summer's day?

Last Tuesday, for instance, wet, windy, cloudy and grey

Who taught thee how to make me love thee more
Sack him, for he’s failed miserably, that’s for sure

Good night, good night! parting is such sweet sorrow,

With the emphasis on sweet...I’m leaving you tomorrow

But, soft! what light through yonder window breaks 

Your morning face gives me the colliwobble shakes

If I could write the beauty of your eyes 

I’d just be telling whopping lies

Your eyes are lode-stars; and your tongue's sweet air

But your breath stinks and you’re shaped like a pear

The sweet silent hours of marriage joys

Are ruined by the noise of your vibrating toys

You are a lover; borrow Cupid's wings,

And piss off, I’ve packed all your things

O Romeo, Romeo! wherefore art thou Romeo
I’m offsky with a wrangler from the rodeo
( try rhyming with Romeo!)

Valentine Poems they're not! 

But will they make it on to one of those circulating email thingys?

New Poem Blog

 Aren't I a blast from the past? I haven't posted for yonkers and I spend most of my time nowadays trying to regain my main website's position with is my main form of retirement income and I have been absolutely slaughtered in the past 12 months or so, with my income slashed to about one eighth of what it was 2 years ago.
Anyway, whinge over but I'm sure these words will strike a chord with many bloggers who may well have suffered similarly. I'd welcome comments from any bloggers and website publishers and I'd really be interested if there are any gainers. If there are losers, and many of my friends are losers there must be gainers out there, right?

I'm posting mainly to find out how the supposedly better format of blogger works. I must be getting grumpy because I no longer embrace change.

Anyway, my partner, who writes poems, under the name of margmax, and publishes them on 

has decided to create a blog. She is currently working on's not yet been published but here's the heads'll find it on

Do check it out and perhaps welcome her. She is a card maker and I know how you card makers stick together and support each other. As for me, I'm tuckered writing is strenuous so I'm off to do something altogether less tiring... 18 holes of golf. Fore!!