Funny Rude Poems

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Funny rude poems is another popular search term, I suspect, mainly sought by kids. Stuff I have written is intended to be funny but is probably not rude enough for, or cover the subjects of interest to, the average sub teenager. Anyway here goes the first in my funny rude poems collection

Why a cat is better than a man

A cat needn't be right all of the time
Or leave up the toilet seat
Or hog the TV remote control
Or complain if you turn up the heat

Or complain about your mother
Or grill you 'bout other cats you've known
Or feel the need to finish your sentences
Or complain if you use the phone

Or say you look better when wearing high heels
Or make jokes at your expense
Or proudly sport a beer belly
Yet still flirt o'er the garden fence

Or complain if its dinner comes out of a can
Or act like a baby when sick
Or need a rottweiler to make it feel macho
Or have its brain controlled by its dick

Jon Bratton © 2004

To finish here's some limericks which fit the category of funny rude poems. I didn't write them but I did adapt them to be rude rather than crude

I like blokes, be they Brown, Jones or Smith
Well my virtue is mostly a myth
Cos try as I can
I just can't find a man
That it's fun to be virtuous with

A gay chap who lived in Khartoum
Took a lesbian up to his room
And they argued all night
About who had the right
To do what and with which and to whom

There was a young harlot from Kew
Who filled her 'little earner' with glue.
She said with a grin,
"If they pay to get in,
They'll pay to get out of it, too."

More funny rude poems

This 'Funny Rude Poems' blog entry is copyright Jon Bratton 2009.This material is free to use for personal use but may not be lifted in whole or part by website publishers