Thursday, 5 March 2009

80th Birthday Poems

This is a poem I was requested to write as a tribute on the 80th birthday of an Irish Mother of 7 kids. For the most part the names have been changed to retain anonymity. I've introduced it now because, with just a few tweaks, this would be ideal as a joint Mother's Day Poem from the whole family

80th Birthday poems..verse 1

As it's your 80th birthday
Let's face it, Mum, you're old
We all agree that it's time
You had your story told

First you had a little girl
And you called her Joanne Marie
Then twins, James and Patrick
And already you had three

Like Oliver Twist you wanted more
So who was next to arrive
More twins Sean and Jackie
The number's up to five

By now the stork was worn out
On more he wasn't keen
As encouragement you gave him a Pat
Then along came Eugene

Of course Eugene says he's the best
You'd produced six times before
But in truth the stork took a look at him
And said "That's it more"

You've been a busy lady
For life, you had a thirst
Giving your all for your kids
And you always put us first

But now that you've reached eighty
You're content and so serene
This comes with love from Helen
And Sharon and Eugene

And your whole extended family
On your birthday have a ball
Ruby, you're a treasured gem
So precious to us all...

For growing old jokes there's many out there, starting at turning 40, then 50th, 60th and 70th.
Few of them go quite as far as this one in decrepitness. I have adapted it from a piece written by Author Unknown

80th Birthday Poems...verse 2

There's quite an art to falling apart
As the years go by,
And life doesn't begin at 40.
We both know that's a lie.

Our hair's getting thinner,
But our waists are not
The few teeth we have
Are beginning to rot.

We smell of Vick's Vapourub,
Not Chanel Number 5
Our doggedness is the only thing
That's keeping us alive.

When asked of our past,
Every detail we'll know,
Except what we were doing
Just 10 minutes ago?

Well, you get the idea,
What more can I say?
Why not read the obituaries
Like you do every day

If your name's not there,
You'll once again start
Perfecting the art
Of falling apart

I'm able to say this
As an old friend, to you
A very, very old friend
Who's falling apart too

Despite only having half a heart left
These birthday wishes I send
Not at all half heartedly
All the very best, my dear old friend

For more getting old jokes, poems click on this link

This '80th Birthday Poems' blog is copyright Jon Bratton 2009

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