Friday, 5 December 2008

A Kissogram with Attitude

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This kissogram with attitude is for a female’s birthday and is more a performance than a speech, involving more than one male. It was written for a specific person but hey one liberal, fun loving, beer swilling, boob flashing, phallic food giggling, saucy humoured floozy is much like any other so here goes.

A kissogram’s a half naked floozy
But hey lets not be choosy
Tho’ we’re not quite right
We have come here tonight
As a Gang Bangagram (for Susi) (for you, see)(don’t feel woozy)

Remember when you’d had a few beers
In drink, you conquered your fears
While pissed on the beach
You slipped right out of reach
It’s on film, it would bring you to tears

You swim in the pool and the seas
Thro’ the water you glide with such ease
When you come up for air
You should take much more care
You’ve been known to pop out of these

You caused quite a stir, so we hear
At the Browne’s house, sometime last year
You had them in fits
By baring your bits
And we missed them, we’d gone home oh dear

On your bike you make like a tank
No respector of race, creed or rank
You’ve left many poor guys
With tears in their eyes
And their best bits impaled on your crank

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You can’t eat a sausage that’s thick
Or anything else that’s phallic
A banana as well
Makes you giggle like hell
You’ll have trouble with this spotted dick

At racquet sports you’re known to enthuse
Be it shuttle or ball, as you choose
You do the splits on the floor
Then jump up for more
Not for us, we’ve got much more to lose

We hope that you’re not offended
If you are, blame Hugh cos he penned it
We’re a Gang Bangagram
And we don’t give a damn
Brace yourself cos our song is now ended

Don’t cower there in a huddle
Don’t get yourself all in a muddle
It’s just our jolly jape
We’re not planning on rape
All we want is a kiss and a cuddle

This was written primarily by Hugh Douglas with imput from me

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