Thursday, 4 December 2008

Poetry on Tap

Poetry on tap is coming but first have a look and listen to Over the Rainbow by Patti Labelle and the Bluebelles

Now contrast it with this version of Over the Rainbow by Patti Labelle without the Bluebelles. Bring back the Bluebelles I say.

If you want more, here's more links but I wouldn't bother unless you want to see Patti's different hairstyles

During my expat days I dressed up in womens clothing more often than I thought I would but people kept asking me to do it. One such ask was to host the finale of a childrens tap dancing school which Over the Rainbow featured...a tenuous link, I know, between this subject which is well searched and little accomodated and my script as a dance show compere.

The kids had been told someone very special was going to appear and the rumour quickly spread that it was Roy Castle
So as not to disappoint I dressed up in womens clothes, with balloons up me frock and two pins in me hands and walked out after the finale to speak to the audience which exclusively comprised the kids parents and siblings

Resplendent in a dress I delivered this address

Get off, get off, you horrible lot
Now it's my chance
Do you know Moms, Mums and Dads they wouldn't let me sing
And they wouldn't let me dance
I'm very good at dancing you know
And I'm ever so keen
But they wouldn't let me
Cos they're soooo mean

It's cos they're jealous, I'm more mature
I've got things in me vest
I'm a sophisticated lady
( balloons popped)
O'er what's happened to me chest?

Anyway, even if I wasn't in the show
I don't care
Cos I thought the show was horrible
So there

F'instance, two girls that were really hopeless
I'm very glad to say
Were Linda and Karla
In Anchors Away
Come on down girls and take your bow
Of course I was bored
Moms, Mums and Dads, if you thought they were really boring
Don't applaud

The next bit was even worser
With all them silly Gene Kellys
If you were singing in the rain
You should have worn your wellies
Getting wet were Mary, Jemima, Julia
Abigail, Susie and Danielle
Laura, Liza and Catherine S
Oh and Sarah B as well
Come on down girls and take your bow
Your dancing was like the weather
Moms, Mums and Dads, if you thought they were a load of drips
Don't put your hands together

Bye Bye Blues was next
That put me in a rotten mood
Two girls who couldn't dance for toffy
Were Sarah and Christine Oud
Come on down girls and take your bow
Your dancing should be banned
Moms, Mums and Dads, if you thought they were rotten
Don't give them a hand

Shiela N did it again in Desdemona
I could have done it betterer than you
Moms, Mums and Dads if you didn't like her jazz
Give her a nice loud Boo

Clara B and Pam C's dancing
Made me shed a tear
They ought to be somewhere Over the Raindow
Anywhere but here
Come on down Clara and Pam and take your bow
Your dancing give the chance for a nap
Moms, Mums and Dads if you thought Clara and Pam were hopeless
Don't give them a clap

42nd Street was rotten
And I hated St Louis Blues
And Julia S and Laura B had no rythm
They should have worn tap shoes

It Don't Mean a Thing featured Catherine
What an awful sight to see
It was a good title though
Cos it didn'y mean a thing to me
Come on down Catherine, take your bow
Your dancing never got off the ground
Moms, Mums and Dads, if you thought Catherine was yukky
Don't make a clapping sound

All the boys wouldn't let me dance as well
Now it's my turn to get even
With Jack, Joseph, Sam and Niell
Darren and Harry and Stephen
Come on down boys and take your bow
Do you know, you've all got knobbly knees
Moms, Mums and Dads, if you thought New York, New York was horrible
No clapping if you please

Well, I've got to admit the Moms, Mums and Dads like you
But just you wait and see
Moms, Mums and Dads show them all
What you think of me

Oh I think I've got it all wrong
I think I'm beginning to see
If I am nice to all of you
Will you be nice to me?

Oh look there's still four little ones left
These four did ever so well
Moms, Mums and Dads, please give a hand to
Jemima, Christine, Judie and Christabel

I hope you all forgive me
For being rude, I'm sorry
Now it's time for all of us to say
Hip, Hip, Hooray for Dorry
Come on Dorry
On behalf of all the children
And all the parents too
You gave us such a lovely show
We've got some things for you

Where's the flower arrangement
And bring the pressie in
These are for you from all of us
Everyone chipped in
Dorry you did a marvelous job
It was a really super show
Moms, Mums, Dads, Boys and Girls
Let's hear it for the Maestro

Now I don't want to harp on but Patti Labelle deserves another chance. Click on the link and listen to her all the way through and I think like me you'll become a fan

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