Wednesday, 10 December 2008

Wardrobe Malfunction

After yesterday's piece it is with reluctance that I deal with the subject of wardrobe malfunction lest you think I'm obsessed with seeing things one shouldn't when clothes mishave. It's entirely coincidental and you'll believe me when you see today's piece of doggerel in which a wardrobe plays a small part. If you (like me only moments ago) think a wardrobe malfunction is the door hanging off or Basil Fawlty using it to hide from the psyciatrists have a quick look at this

I don't recall Judy Finnigan's bra flash being described as a wardrobe malfunction and having just googled I now know why. The phrase 'wardrobe malfunction' was coined after Janet Jackson's bosom was accidentally bared during her 2004 Super Bowl half-time performance alongside Justin Timberlake whereas Judy's mild embarrassment was at the 2000 National Television Awards. Anyway wardrobe malfunction has now made it into some Dictionaries, viz

a euphemistic term for an embarrassing display of a body part when clothing droops, falls, or is torn
Etymology: 2004 Webster's New Millennium™ Dictionary of English.

Here's today's poem

Mother returned from 2 days away
Her little boy greeted her by saying,
"Mummy, guess what? Yesterday,
I was in your wardrobe, playing
Daddy came in with the lady next door
And their clothes started to drop
And they lay undressed on the bed
And then daddy climbed on top ..."
Mother held up her hand.
"Not another word. That story's bad
Exactly what you've just told me.
I want you to tell to Dad"
As Dad walked into the house,
His wife said, "I'm off. I'm packed already, see? "
"But why--" asked the startled father.
" Sonny. Tell him what you told me."
"Well," Sonny said, "I was playing in your wardrobe
And daddy came in with the lady next door
And they got undressed
And all their clothes were on the floor
And they got up on the bed
And then they did that thing
That you did with Uncle John
When daddy was away, last Spring."

© Jon Bratton 2007
(based on a joke by Author Unknown)

Since 2004 a whole new genre of videos has been spawned. Google the phrase 'wardrobe malfunctions' and you'll see thousands or for still photos, with the offending nipple blacked out per the picture above, go here

Me? I'm off to IKEA. I need to have a word with someone in the complaints department

It's a bit of a slog, writing a blog without feedback. I'd be made up if, before you made off, you made a comment

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