Tuesday, 2 December 2008

If We Cantaloupe Lettuce Marry

"If We Cantaloupe Lettuce Marry, Mary"
Said Dick, pursing his tulips
My fuchsia lies with you, my love
What a pear we'll make " she quips
This is a trailer to the continuing rhyme of horticulturist Dick but first, this
Where was Peter Rabbit Forbidden to Play?

Thousands of you ask Google every day
Where was Peter Rabbit forbidden to play
In Mr McGregor's garden... that's where
And why? Coz his mother didn't think it fair
That on Mr McGregor's veggies Peter ate his fill
And made himself so very ill
He got trapped in netting but then got free
He was sent to bed with just some camomile tea

Now, Mr McGregor was a veggie raising horticulturist, like Dick who, you'll recall, had decided to take his beanstalk growing skills elsewhere in the World

Having come to a decision
This is what he planned
He'd tell all his workmates
In terms they'd understand

"I'll till it like it is" he said
"From acorns, oak trees grow
Now I can see the wood for trees
Its thyme for me to go

With fronds like you, who needs anemonies" he joked
I'm growing stale and getting bored
I just can't get myself mowtivated
Like a bean, I must be abroad

I spend all day with tomatoes
And every night with a Swede
I think I'm beginning to vegetate
I think I'm going to seed

I really cannot stay men
Of that there is no doubt
I need to pull my roots up
It's time that I branched out

I'm in the flower of my youth
I'm ripe and in full petal
I must make hay while the sun shines
It's time to grasp the nettle

It's time to leave this vegetable patch
It's fallow ground to me
I need to find some growing space
I'm pot bound, don't you see

I'm becoming a little jaded
Off the boil, going sour
It's just not true that jaded brains
Make a finer flower

Now I'm no shrinking violet
But I've had my seeds of doubt
But now I'm very glad to say
They've all bean weeded out

It's thyme for me to pith off
And theek pathtures new
And now I take my leaf of you

In his quiet moments of contemplation
Dick would probably be heard to say
"I've often wondered where Peter Rabbit
Was forbidden to play"

Mary having preseeded him
He packs his trunk and leaves his room
His destination the Middle East
To make the desert bloom

Dick followed the path of his namesake
Richard the Lionheart
And set off for the Holy Land
With a kiss from his Swedish tart

With Dick and Mary now world's apart
They didn't meet for a while
And then they got together
On their Jersey Isle

That's when they finally tied the knot
It had to happen sooner or later
And besides, Wanda had run off
With the local museum curator

To be continued....
This chapter was brought to you courtesy of Where was Peter Rabbit Forbidden to Play

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